He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
PANTIES FOUND
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