I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
