His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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