i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
