he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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