somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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