he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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