By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
