ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
how do flat chested girls get laid?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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