She's JV to your varsity
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
