Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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