it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
