Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
