found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
