That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
