Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
so much tequila, so little girl.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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