Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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