i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
