You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
