I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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