You smell like a Billy Joel song
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize