Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
