I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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