every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
