dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize