my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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