kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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