whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
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I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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