Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
All the doctor said was why
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
