I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
