SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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