My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
