My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
