I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
