It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
