the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
