His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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