Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize