On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
