But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
