I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Randomize
