belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
