I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
