So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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