Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
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I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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