How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
