Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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