nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
