Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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