Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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