Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
