My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I need mimosas to revive my soul
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
