Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
