I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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