I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
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it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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