You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
