this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
