Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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