were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
