I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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