Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
