i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
