uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
