i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
