i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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