she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
