genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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