But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
