I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
