We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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