escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
